One of my biggest pet peeves is people who make their problems my problem. They forgot to do something, or they lost something, or they messed up. Now it's my problem to fix it for them. I used to get so angry when this happened. Then one day it hit me. This is exactly what I have done to God. I have sinned and messed up. And now I am the one going to God and begging Him to help me out. So it turns out that I am no better than anyone else. In the book "The Seer of Remmon," the main character Jolus had to deal with this very same issue.
I am so glad that God doesn't take after me. He doesn't sit up in heaven waiting to punish me as soon as I mess up. God isn't sitting up in heaven waiting to crack down on stumbling humans. He loves us and wants what is best for us all the time. Most of the time we don't have a clue what is best for us. But God knows and He will orchestrate the best thing for us every time. Our job is to just trust Him.
Having said that, I come back to reality. The fact is that people will continue to make their problems my and your problem. There are a couple of ways you can deal with this. First, you can get mad and let your blood pressure go up. You can rail against them and talk about them behind their back. You can grumble and complain. But none of this will change their behavior. This is like sticking a fork in your eye and hoping they will scream in pain. It's just not going to happen.
A second thing you could try is to leave your job if that is the problem. Or you might cancel the friendship with that person. You can abandon your church or that club you joined. You can also sell your house and live somewhere else. You might even de-friend them on Facebook or other social sites. You can delete their email and let your calls go to voicemail. But this will only be for a time. It's likely you'll develop another friendship. Then this vicious cycle will commence once more.
Truthfully, the only way to stop this problem is to change your thinking. Begin to realize right now that you really don't have control over other people's behavior. No matter how much you yell and scream and cry they are not going to stop doing what they're doing or being who they are. Certainly a few people might change if it turns out they didn't realize what they were doing. But most won't change. This is a sad but true fact.
Changing your thinking is not very easy. You probably grew up thinking that life should be fair. It turns out that life is immeasurably unfair. People who should get rewarded don't, and those who should not get rewarded do. Chances are that someone who dumped on you probably got rewarded for that behavior. This is why most people won't change.
It will help us to remember our bond with Jesus and why that bond exists. We were oblivious to our own problems. But God was not oblivious. He came to us and turned our sin problems into His problem. We were ignorant of the fact that we were doomed to an eternity in anguish and pain. But He loved us and sent His Son to live as a perfect human and then give His life on the cross as payment for our sins. At this point we can be back in relationship with God if only we will believe.
I am not unselfish enough to die for someone else's dilemma. Only Jesus was that unselfish. He is unique in that He truly did not deserve to be dumped on. But He took it upon Himself voluntarily. While you are working to change your thinking, keep in mind that Jesus is always there and He understands your pain. He will never chastise you for your feelings. He will always understand. And He will help you change your heart.
It's not possible to get others to change. But you can work on your own attitudes with God's help. Why should you struggle any longer with anger and frustration over matters you can't control? Just let them go. Turn instead to God and finally find that peace you've been searching for.
I am so glad that God doesn't take after me. He doesn't sit up in heaven waiting to punish me as soon as I mess up. God isn't sitting up in heaven waiting to crack down on stumbling humans. He loves us and wants what is best for us all the time. Most of the time we don't have a clue what is best for us. But God knows and He will orchestrate the best thing for us every time. Our job is to just trust Him.
Having said that, I come back to reality. The fact is that people will continue to make their problems my and your problem. There are a couple of ways you can deal with this. First, you can get mad and let your blood pressure go up. You can rail against them and talk about them behind their back. You can grumble and complain. But none of this will change their behavior. This is like sticking a fork in your eye and hoping they will scream in pain. It's just not going to happen.
A second thing you could try is to leave your job if that is the problem. Or you might cancel the friendship with that person. You can abandon your church or that club you joined. You can also sell your house and live somewhere else. You might even de-friend them on Facebook or other social sites. You can delete their email and let your calls go to voicemail. But this will only be for a time. It's likely you'll develop another friendship. Then this vicious cycle will commence once more.
Truthfully, the only way to stop this problem is to change your thinking. Begin to realize right now that you really don't have control over other people's behavior. No matter how much you yell and scream and cry they are not going to stop doing what they're doing or being who they are. Certainly a few people might change if it turns out they didn't realize what they were doing. But most won't change. This is a sad but true fact.
Changing your thinking is not very easy. You probably grew up thinking that life should be fair. It turns out that life is immeasurably unfair. People who should get rewarded don't, and those who should not get rewarded do. Chances are that someone who dumped on you probably got rewarded for that behavior. This is why most people won't change.
It will help us to remember our bond with Jesus and why that bond exists. We were oblivious to our own problems. But God was not oblivious. He came to us and turned our sin problems into His problem. We were ignorant of the fact that we were doomed to an eternity in anguish and pain. But He loved us and sent His Son to live as a perfect human and then give His life on the cross as payment for our sins. At this point we can be back in relationship with God if only we will believe.
I am not unselfish enough to die for someone else's dilemma. Only Jesus was that unselfish. He is unique in that He truly did not deserve to be dumped on. But He took it upon Himself voluntarily. While you are working to change your thinking, keep in mind that Jesus is always there and He understands your pain. He will never chastise you for your feelings. He will always understand. And He will help you change your heart.
It's not possible to get others to change. But you can work on your own attitudes with God's help. Why should you struggle any longer with anger and frustration over matters you can't control? Just let them go. Turn instead to God and finally find that peace you've been searching for.
About the Author:
Norita Sieffert is a published author and speaker with a Master's Degree in Theology. She views life very practically and seeks real solutions to real problems. She is fully committed to Jesus Christ and shares her faith with others having the same struggles she has. To browse her latest Christian fiction titles on Kindle, go to her online bookstore
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